Tuesday, October 26, 2010

A BiT of a note ...

Hello to ALL my sweet bloggy friends,
Gosh, it's been awhile, and I've soo missed out on all my visits, and catching up with all of you, I DO try to sneak in and catch a peek, BUT, have truly been missing in action for a bit .. Soo many of you have written, sent emails, phone calls, and comments wondering where oooh where is TeA ?! And, for all that, I APPRECIATE sooo much your concerns .. sweet peas you all are !!

First of all, our son is in highschool football, and that takes up soo much of my time .. it is truly endless, BUT, soo FuN !! And, at this time I need happy !! That is why I shared my sweet lamp, that my sweet hubby surprised me with about a week ago !! I saw this on Amy's blog, and had to run get me a couple .. such a good price, and the PeRfEcT fit for mee .. This, he hung over our bed, and the other is going over my bathtub when we ever get around to re-doing it .. Soo much going on now, that this has to take the backseat for a BiT !! I put these sweet PiNk shades (of course) on it, and when my sweet friend Debbie comes in about a week, she will dress these shades with ribbons, lace, and bling .. I've shared with you, all my lamps by her .. She does such lovely work .. can't wait ..

Now, for the sadness in my life, it has been with a heavy heart, that a loved one of ours, LoRi, our nephews wife, was diagnosed in August with a very rare form of uterine cancer called "Leiomyosarcoma" it masks itself as if it's fibryo cysts, it cannot be detected by xrays, blood tests and the such .. she has been in pain for several months, and FINALLY was okayed to have a hysterectomy about 5 weeks ago, and that is when they found massive tumors, some the size of small basketballs, imagine the shock of the Doctors and surgery team at the time .. unbelievable .. stage 4, and given weeks to live .. So, I have decided to be with her every minute I could possibly be there .. I've always been very close to her, we work together, and play together .. She loves everything I LoVe, and is such an artist and crafter .. We have shared wonderful memories together .. My heart is broken, and yet, it is Lori that is helping to heal me .. I sit with her, and have decided to journal her final days together with her .. It has been life altering .. things that have brought me such JoY, has gone away for the time being .. this is taking everything that is in me .. I have been through soo many different emotions with her .. her body was shutting down, and they gave her two days last week, BuT, she came back rallying, unbelievable, the will to stay here for the moment .. She is soo weak in her physical being, her spirit is amazing .. Lori isn't ready to leave her children yet, and her sweet granddaughter .. soo we sit and talk about life, and plannng her "life" celebration, I wanted noo part of that, cuz I'm not ready to let go of her .. She tells me, that if I LoVe "truly love", I will listen and do everything she wants done .. Only happy she says .. no more tears .. can you believe she is telling me this ?! Soo, we have planned her celebration, I still take her (in the wheel chair) for walks, made her a BiG PiNk fluffy blanket to wrap up in, and have given her a pretty bling cross ring, that we hold onto as we sit .. She knows Jesus is her hope and comfort, and to HIM she will go, just not today she says .. when she phones me each morning she has to tell me, that she has another gift in this day !! Soo, we sit, laugh, and cry some more .. we talk about FuN times, and happy days .. She still can make me crack up, and boy, is her laughter contagious, I think that's one thing I will always have in my heart .. makes me giggle just to think of it ..

I didn't write this to be depressing, or sound down, just wanted to share where my heart and mind are right now .. I have learned more in 6 weeks, than I have the last ten years of my life .. What is truly important is "life itself" and the days we are given to be here with loved ones .. to laugh, cry, and just LoVe everyone we care about .. Noone knows when our last day will be, BUT, to be given this gut wrenching, unexpected news has been life altering to all of us .. I feel that so many days have gone by, and forget, really at times the month it is .. very strange ..

I feel better just sharing with all of you, and please know, I WILL be back soon, just need to take time to grasp all this for myself .. I really want to be with Lori, and our extended family every spare minute I can, I've gone there at 2 in the morning, not being able to sleep myself, and she is sitting there waiting, cuz she knew I might just come .. unbelievable .. Sometimes, we just sit and I hold her tight, other times she holds me tight .. But, I'm there, just there ..

Soo to each of you that prays, please do, and please don't forget about me, I will be back soon .. I'll need happy, and I KNOW where to find that, from each of your sweet hearts ~

I am soo missing all of you BiG HuGs ~Tanza~ xo





30 comments:

  1. I'm kind of at a loss for words as I begin this. Your post, my friend, was totally beautiful. It was a well written post and I can understand the "whys" of you doing it, but I also think there are many more "whys" of us here, not only reading it, but feeling it and paying attention to some very special things you said! Too much time is wasted on small stuff, things don't, in the bigger picture, of things mean anything. I remember several years ago (okay more than several) when I was 39. I stayed with a very good friend of mine that was dying from colon cancer. She was leaving behind an eight year old daughter, Katie's bestfriend. And I think a part of that experience to this day, makes me who I am. Just keep smiling for her, okay? You have the sweetest smile ever.

    Take care, Sue

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  2. Oh Tanza sweetheart, what brave and courageous ladies you both are... my heart aches for you, but I know you are doing what you are meant to do... please know my thoughts are with you and Lori, and all of your family... I love you for being you and so kind and caring... and I am praying for all of you... xoxo Julie Marie

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  3. OHHH SWEET TEA GIRL, MY HEART IS ACHING FOR YOU AND YOUR LOVE ONE, I WILL PRAY FOR HER AND YOU TOO SWEETIE, THAT GOD MY GRANT YOU THE STRENGTH TO HELP YOUR LOVE ONE THROUGH THIS VERY SAD TIME IN BOTH OF YOUR LIVES!!! GOD BLESS HER AND KEEP HER, AHH SWEETIE I AM CRYING LIKE A BABY, JUST KNOWING WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH, I LOST A LOVE ONE TO CANCER A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO....

    HUGLETS~XOXO~MARI

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  4. Hi Tanza,
    I've been where you are - it's life changing, and I would do the exact same thing you are doing all over again. Because we love them.

    Take Care -

    Marsha

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  5. Hi Tanza,

    Having just went through this with my grandma a couple of weeks ago, I know some of what you are going through. I will be praying for all of you.

    Hugs to you,
    Lee Laurie

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  6. Hello Tanza, It is So good to hear from you, and I am So sorry to hear about your special lady Lori. I understand this all to well, I have had many friends die of various cancers and it's just a terrible thing. My prayers are going out for all of you as well. God Bless you Tanza, because I know what a toll this could have on you so please take care of yourself the best you can during this whole process. Lori, sounds like a very incredible woman and she is so fortunate to have you on her side. I'm definitely going to lift her up in prayer!!

    Sending Warm Big Hugs*

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  7. Hello Tanza, I am so sorry to hear this sad news about your nephew's wife. I am sending you both my prayers to help you keep strong, and to be there for each other. She sounds like such a wonderful and amazing woman, and so are you too sweet friend!

    I sooo understand the time it takes when one has a son playing football in high school. My son Austin just finished his season for JV last week Thursday, but our Varsity guys are in the Playoffs, with their first game being held here! I can't wait to go!!

    LOVE your pretty chandys! Wherever did you find them....it would be the perfect size I think for my sewing room.

    Take care Tea, be strong!

    Warmest hugs to you, Brenda

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  8. Tea, I am so sorry. What a precious gift you are giving with your time and love. Your sweet Lori knows Jesus will be there to gather her in His arms and she will have no more pain and no more sorrow. What a promise we have in Jesus. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. May God hold you all so close. Mary

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  9. Hi Brenda,
    How funny, I have gotten two e-mails and you asking where I found this sweet chandy !! Home Depot .. They are only right at 100.00, and I adore mine .. Can't wait to hang the other one .. soo dainty, smaller than most, BUT, eVeR soo PeRfEcT for my lil' cottage .. Amy, at The Shabby Rose Cottage shared her chandy, soo I ran to get one too .. See, aren't bloggy frinds the BeSt ?! You all truly inspire mee all the time ~ xo TeA

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  10. life is so short and sometimes so sad...you are doing the best thing ever by being with her and just loving her, she will definitly take that love with her!!! try to stay strong in this most difficult time, I will be praying for you and her!

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  11. Hello sweet TeA! How amazing and short life is...you are so right, the ones we love are the most important. I am sad beyond breathing that a precious friend of yours is moving on to Jesus, but at least she knows about his amazing love!
    The chandy is gorgeous, I have the same one above my kitchen sink you will love it!
    Hugs,
    Olivia

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  12. Oh, Tea...this is so sad, life sometimes is so short. Just hearing that Lori knows Jesus is the only thing that makes her passing easier somehow (if that's possible, as your heart breaks for her and her family). We'll be praying.

    Ten years ago, my younger sister passed away from colon cancer...and I would stop by her bedside all hours of the day and night. I had my private time with her (even though most times she wasn't 100% conscious) and I had my good-bye with her during one of those times. It's a precious memory.........

    ~Blessings,
    Jan

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  13. Hi Tanza,
    I was so sad to read of your nephew's wifes illness. That is just so sad and so scary. My heart goes out to all of you. This is just so sad. Thank you for sharing her story with us. It really makes you think.

    Your chandelier looks so beautiful!!!! I LOVE it! I love the little shades too :) I am so glad you got some and are enjoying them. I am really enjoying mine too. It add the right amount of shabby sparkle to my kitchen :)

    Love you sweet friend!!!
    Amy

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  14. Tanza, I pray God's compassion will fill your loved one as she battles this illness. You spending time with her is better than any medicine a doctor could give her and her faith with take of the rest. We will include her in our daily prayers as well as those by whome she is loved. It is never easy dealing with illness especially when a dire outcome is expected. When God calls to her, I do pray it will be with as little pain as possible & clarity to the end of this part of the journey. Hugs. Tammy

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  15. Hi sweet Tea
    My heart breaks as I read your post. I will be praying for all of you during this most difficult time. Sending you the biggest hugs from us. Love to you and yours

    xo
    Kate

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  16. Dear Sweet Tea...

    When I didn't hear from you in so long I knew something was up. I figured you were busy with life like I was this past summer and knew you'd call me when you could. I'm sick I missed hearing your sweet voice on the phone... :(

    I can't imagine how heavy your heart is my friend. But this I do know...

    God has placed in Lori's life for a reason. Make no mistake about it. His timing is perfect and there are things you will carry away from this that will last the remainder of your lifetime.

    I rejoice with you that Lori knows the Lord! This is life-altering for those who will be left behind. It makes CELEBRATING her life a time of victory and not defeat...for indeed you will all see her again one day.

    During these last days know that I'm lifting Lori up to the father for peace. I'm also on my knees for you as I know this must be very hard to experience. I can't even think of being the one sitting next to a good friend during her last days. If it were you and I I'm sure I would feel just as you do.

    I will return your call soon...

    Remember...God is good. ALL THE TIME!

    I love you~

    Rebecca

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  17. Sweet T ~ I am always here for you, lifting you all in prayer, sweetie. I love talking to you, the hour passes so quickly ...

    May Lori continue to be held closely in His hands. She truly has a precious love in you to share her days.

    All my heart felt love for you...
    TTFN ~ Hugs of love, Marydon

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  18. Dear Sweet Tea,
    What more can I say that has not been said except I am praying for you and LoRi and I know she must feel such comfort knowing you are there for her. You a truly her angel and you are such a sweet, loving person. We know God is with her and will lift her up. I pray for your comfort through this also.

    Warm hugs and love
    Ginger

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  19. I am a friend of Marydon's and I just wanted to tell you that I am praying for you and your sweet loved one.

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  20. Dear Sweet Tea...
    Oh Sweetie, I am storming the heavens as I type for your precious Lorie. We know that she is in the best hands possible, and we also know that you two will be reunited again. I have walked this road and it is a very hard and treacherous path to travel. You faith will get you through and we are always here for you sweetie. Please keep me posted.

    I love your precious chandies. They are so gorgeous, and I love the little pink shades, and the painting around them is exquisite. Such detail. I thank you for sharing with me.

    Again, my arms around you, giving you the biggest hug sweetie, and I am right here wiping your tears. I promise you are not alone. So many hugs and much, much love, Sherry

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  21. Hi Tanza, I'm sorry I can't get to anybody's emails... I don't know what is going on, but I want you to know that I appreciate you and your sweet comments. I love it when you stop in..... you have been SO missed!

    Wishing all the best for you-

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  22. HI Tanza, I am so sorry to hear about Lori's illness. She has a wonderful friend and companion in you. My best friend died from breast cancer about 10 yrs ago now but we lived in different countries and I so wish I could have been there for her. I have such wonderful memories of the time we did spend together. I think you are doing a wonderful thing for her, being with her in her time of need. God bless you both, take care, Maryann

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  23. sending the biggest and warmest hugs all the way from brisbane. i will hold you and lori in my prayers. you are an angel on earth...
    xxrosey

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  24. Hello sweet Tea,

    So sorry to hear about your sweet friend. She sounds like an amazing woman. So nice that you are sharing your love and time with her. Warmest thoughts and prayers are coming your way.

    Hugs,
    Debbie

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  25. Sweet Tea...

    So much to share with you...

    I'm going to offer the design service for the Tea Wrappers on my website if you are interested. I can either design some wrappers for you with your name, etc. and then email you the file so you can print them out or I can make some for you. If I send you the design you can make as many as you want!

    LMK! OK?

    Continuing to think of you and your precious friend~

    Love you most~Rebecca

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  26. Tanza, I am trying to catch up on my friends and just stopped in to see what you are up to and read about your dear Lori. My heart goes out to the two of your and your families. You could not be more spot on when you said that the most precious times are those spent with family. I understand what you are going through - I honestly do and can say this with a loving heart. Each and every moment with Lori is a gift. I know you know this and will cherish this gift.

    God Bless You all,
    Becky

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  27. HELLO SWEET TEA~
    OHHH I ADORE REBECCA'S ITEMS THERE SOOO BEAUTIFUL AND SO IS SHE :) HUBBY PURCHASED ONE OF HER GATHERING CASE'S FOR ME FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY! I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO RECEIVE IT :) YEAHHHHH ME.....LOL
    YOUR SUCH A SWEETIE PIE, I WISH YOU A VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING WITH ALL YOUR LOVED ONES :)

    HUGLET~XO~MARI

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  28. HI SWEETIE,

    WOW!!! YOU HAVE THREE GATHERING CASE'S YOU LUCKY DUCKY YOU!!! I'M ON PINS AND NEEDLES WAITING FOR MY BEAUTY TO ARRIVE....LOL!!! I JUST LOVE REBECCA SHE HAS SUCH A GOOD HEART! WOW! TO HAVE HER TALENTS AND HER BIG GENEROUS HEART AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL TOO!!! HUMMMM IM GREEN IN THE FACE!!! HAHA I LOVE ALL YOUR ITEMS YOU HAVE FROM OUR SWEET REBECCA, JUST OVER THE TOP BEAUTIFUL, YOUR ONE LUCKY GAL THAT'S FOR SURE!!!! GIGGLES :)YOUR HOME IS GORGEOUS MY FRIEND, I LOVE TO VISIT YOUR BLOG AND READ YOUR PAST POSTS AND LOOK AT ALL YOUR BEAUTIFUL PINKNESS :)

    BIG HUGLETS TO YOU SWEET ONE~XOXOXOXOX~MARI

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  29. Hello sweet lady....
    I am finding it hard to find the words to tell you how sorry I was to read your sad post, yet I can feel the strength & love you & Lori have been giving each other. You are in my thoughts & my heart Hun...

    Love always
    Lyn xxx

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  30. I found you through my blog friend, Becky at Sweet Cottage Dreams. I am so so sorry, your friend sounds like she has the most beautiful spirit I've ever heard. I appreciate you sharing your sad heart with us. It has really made me think today.

    xo
    LeAnn

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